Painfuel. Kill me , kill me , kill me , you gorgeous woman. This was the first song I ever found by Mitski and it reminds me violently of my time in college. I was so deep in my OCD that I could not stretch myself to be in anything else, so I became outside of everything else all together. The overwashed skin on my hands gave blood through dry cracks and I was too frightened to even touch my curtains because I felt they were too close to the outside world to be safe to touch. When I hear this song, I think of that time and I give blood through a crack on my heart and I don't cry but I always want to.